Broken Flowers

by Horace J. Digby

Movies have taken a bad turn.
Ever since Cast Away, mega-blockbuster-stars like Tom Hanks, Bill Murray and Jack Nicholson have been competing to see who can make the most boring movie.

Hanks took an early lead with Cast Away, so named for the fact that on the second day of shooting the cast ran away. The film involves a man who, after a very exciting plane crash, spends the remaining two acts talking to a volleyball. Even after he is rescued from the tiny Island where he spends most of the movie (and incidentally where most of the DVD sales have occurred) the remaining story arc consists only of a brief scene in which Hanks (or was perhaps it was Murray) takes the volleyball on a road trip to Texas or some other desolate place.

About Schmidt was one of these movies. It stared Jack Nicholson, or perhaps Phil Michelson. The plot of the film is, that there's this guy, you know, and he is, like, really BORING!!! The film wasn't actually boring enough for three exclamation points. It probably should only get an asterisk. But I only have one asterisk, I didn't want to risk it on that movie.

Bill Murray, being Canadian, couldn't stand the idea of guys from California having made two of the worlds slowest moving movies. So he spent a year toying with the idea of a one hundred and fifteen minute film consisting only of a still photo of a puppy sleeping. That film finally was re-titled and released as Lost in Translation. It won some awards and all would have been right with the world, if Tom Hanks hadn't gone back to the studio to film The Terminal.

Sure, I'm impressed that The Terminal is actually a true story about Hanks' own experience trying to get through airport security just after 9-11, but that doesn't keep it from being lame.

Murray of course fired back with Broken Flowers, a film that involves such unforgettable scenes as Bill Murray sitting on a leather sofa, Bill Murray sitting on a chair at the airport, Bill Murray sitting in a stuffed chair, Bill Murray sitting on a chair in a restaurant, Bill Murray sitting in a seat on a shuttle bus, Bill Murray sitting in an airline seat and Bill Murray sitting in a car. That's all he is doing for the most part. He isn't talking. He isn't listening to anybody talk. He isn't watching anything. I'm not sure he is even breathing. Weekend at Bernie's had more action and Bernie was dead for three quarters of the movie. But there is a big surprise ending in which Bill Murray sits on a box and actually talks to one of the other actors.

The Broken Flowers DVD has bonus features. No kidding, there is an outtake feature which consists of two young women both talking at once, over and over, on the shuttle bus (Remember the shuttle buss? It had more personality than some of the actors in this movie). And, are you ready for this? The DVD has a featurette of slates. Slates are those black and white striped plates with the clacker bar on top used to mark the beginning and end of scenes. Broken Flowers has a five or ten minute bonus feature that just involves footage of the slates being clacked. Although from time to time, Murray or one of the other actors makes a comment. This is the best part of the DVD.

There is another featurette narrated by writer/director Jim Jarmusch (who's name I mention only to keep other writer/directors from suing me for not making it clear that they didn't write or direct this film—I know I'd sue anyone who suggested that I made it). Jarmusch explains, repeatedly, that he, as a writer and director, doesn't really believe in knowing what is going to happen in the scenes he shoots. He also explains that he doesn't think figuring out the meaning of the film is his job (although if you saw the film, you already knew this). In all, the Jarmusch featurette reminded me of a lady where I used to work. No mater what it was, the first words out of her mouth were, "That's not my job." She said this so often and with such energy that pretty soon, she was right. It wasn't her job anymore.

This Jarmusch featurette consisted of what sounds like an interview recorded from AM radio, played over footage of a decaying farm house. Jarmusch explains that having a reason for filming a particular scene (or apparently an entire movie) doesn't matter much to him. He also said that after one of his films is finished and he has seen it once with a paying audience, he never watches it again. Frankly that shows good judgment on his part, at least if all of his films are as entertaining as Broken Flowers.

Hey, I just figured out why the only outtakes were of those two young women talking on the shuttle bus. Everything else actually made it into the film.

After seeing the movie, we watched the preview, and my wife summed up the experience.

"The entire movie is in the trailer. Even the scenes of Bill Murray just sitting places are there, only shorter."

Having said all of this, I might actually watch Broken Flowers again. It has a very nice scene featuring Alexis Dziena naked. It's a sensitive artistic scene, and it's not just exploitation, and it's necessary to the story, and it's tastefully done, and it's not just about the body, and it's necessary for the movie, and she looks great in the bikini scenes too.

-- Horace J. Digby
Winner of the Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor

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