Dave Barry's Money

"The reason for book tours is that publishers are thinking, 'I'll bet these books would be worth a lot more if the author was dead.'" That's how Dave Barry began his economic address to a standing-room-only crowd at Seattle's old Town Hall, earlier today.

"Thank you all for coming. I guess, since it's raining, there isn't much else for you to do."

"There are dozens of books about financial management, by other authors who may seem more qualified. But those other books all suffer from the same important flaw. When people by those books, I personally don't get royalties. My book addresses that problem."

According to Barry, money was once based on animals, like cows. While this made armed robbery unbelievably difficult, it was also hard to make change.

Barry didn't spend his entire time stumping for his book. He also shared insider humor secrets about his experience as part of Steve Martin's writing team for the Academy Awards.

"We met in Steve Martin's living room. Everyone there was either an experienced joke writer or Steve Martin."

"I am used to spending an hour thinking about whether it would be funnier to use the word squirrel or the word weasel in a sentence. (For those who are wondering, it's weasel.) The other writers were experienced working with a team. They were all generous. Someone might come up with part of a joke and others would work with it. No body really owned any of the jokes. They knew they wouldn't get credit. Steve Martin got the credit."

"Being backstage at the Academy Awards was wonderful too, and not just because I ran right into Halle Berry."

After his talk in Seattle, Barry stayed around to sign autographs and hobnobbed privately with the NetWit's own Horace J. Digby (and about 100 other people). After the obligatory humor-columnist's secret handshake, Barry and Digby chatted about friends they have in common. Although Barry seemed to enjoy Digby's suggestion of beginning autographs with, "Pay to the order of . . ." he didn't adopt the practice.

Then, all too soon, it was time to leave.

"Tell the Louie Louie god hi for me," Barry said, remembering an event of two years earlier when Digby's son Adam sang with Barry in Tacoma.