Adventure Cat®

by Horace J. Digby

My pal George Ford has produced a DVD for cats. No kidding. It's called Adventure Cat.® The idea is that your cat can watch this DVD, and then . . . well, I guess that's the whole idea.

George's company, Feathered Phonics, started with a CD for teaching canaries to sing. I figured he would follow up with a CD to teach goldfish to swim, but instead he created Adventure Cat® and it's selling like hot cakes. (No kidding. check it out at, http://www.featheredphonics.com/
adventureseries.htm)

Obviously a DVD for cats will appeal to people who are crazy enough (about their cats) to buy them presents. In the past those people were pretty much limited to buying cat nip. But what kind of example is that for the Youth of America?

"Ok Bobby, for her birthday, let's get Tabby stoned."

And what if Tabby really likes the stuff. Where will she find more. It's an ugly picture: your cat, hanging out in some sleazy inner-city alley, trying to score a dime bag of "nip."

With George's product, you and your cat have a choice. You can just says no? Now, instead of turning Tabby into a junkie, you can turn her into a couch potato. Sure that means more paws fighting over the remote, but at least Tabby won't have to go to rehab again. Besides George is working on a special remote just for cats. (I made that part up.)

Adventure Cat® is so popular George is already releasing Adventure Dog.® It's the same concept, except, you guessed it, this one is for dogs.

I thought this whole idea was silly. What sort of people are going to plunk down hard-earned unemployment checks to buy a DVD for pets? But then I remembered Billy Bass®. Remember that stupid mechanical singing-fish wall plaque? Well, Billy raked in pazoolies a plenty a few years back. (My own mother-in-law bought three of them—for me.)

And Billy Bass® was a wall plaque. When your friends came over they could see that stupid fish hanging on your wall.

"Did you see that?" they would say later, "Lynette has one of those stupid fish hanging on her wall . . ." (I don't know why they would call you "Lynette." They're your friends.)

George's DVD is a lot better than those wall plaques because when friends come over, you can hide it. It will fit in with all your other DVDs and CDs. No one will ever know you bought one. Isn't that great? It's the sort of thing builds a real feeling of pride.

"Sure, maybe I know I'm dumb enough to buy a DVD for cats," you will say, "but none of my friends know it."

The only down side is that your dog and cat might become couch potatoes. But next year George could market a special kitty-couch just for Tabby. Fido will probably want a Barcalounger®.

-- Horace J. Digby --
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